A Review! (Pulled Apart By Horses)

This review requires a brief preamble (I've spent all day learning about What, When, Where, Who, How, Why, after all.) (OK, not all day - I overslept, and was about an hour and a half late. Embarrassing? Yes. Worth it? Not really, still yawned my way through most of the day (and after that spiel about prioritising sleep!))
So,
What: a review! the first of several, hopefully (although I do intend to do some real, hardcore introspective blogging at some point (joking! Come back!).
When: now... unless something distracts me again.
Where: I think you know the answer to that one (I'm beginning to think these questions aren't quite as universal as I'd hoped).
Who: me. I guess I could try and get someone else to do one, at some point...
How: (this is, I'm assured, the meat in the sandwich of any story, and indeed this is the bit I really wanted to tell you about!) my reviews may turn out to be a little different to the usual music journalism, because I will freely admit that I have no pretensions to understanding music. I don't know any of the history, I'm unaware of the exciting subtexts suddenly bestowed upon usually innocuous adjectives, and I've never been to a concert. Not even once.
Why: because I felt like it? Or maybe I have some deep subconscious yearning to wear a leather jacket at all times and make 'derivative' sound like a compliment.

One more thing - in the interests of balance, I'm going to include a link to a review by someone who presumably does know what they're talking about. Read it later, if you like, and see how I match up. I am purposefully writing mine before I read theirs.

Pulled Apart by Horses - I Punched a Lion in the Throat

Video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nlilIDrVy4

I've decided to review a song instead of an album because I'm lazy. And yes, I pretty much picked it for the title.

1 1/2 listens in, and I've realised that although I know that the nice, mop-impersonating young gentlemen are singing 'I punched a lion in the throat' (and why not?), what I am actually hearing is 'Hi, there's a lion on the phone'. Equally left-field but possibly less rock 'n' roll. Does the song suffer for this? Possibly, as these are pretty much the only lyrics in it I can even slightly understand. It's all quite screamy and (dare I say it?) northern, which is fun, but slightly incomprehensible (although judging by the song's title, that may well be what they're aiming for...). The idea of a slightly harassed savannah secretary rather appeals to me, I have to say.

Music-wise, it's all pretty loud and repetitive, but that can be fun (I imagine it's much easier to 'rock out' to such music) and they're clearly having lots of fun with their guitars. I imagine that the drummer is pretending to be the gorilla on that chocolate advert (but these days, what drummer is not?), because it sounds as though he and his cymbals are having something of a disagreement (possibly in a sack) and the whole effect is rather thrashy, as though he just has to hit something, anything, on the beat. He has a nice subtle old-school crish-crashy bit in the intro, though. Vocals are marginally more comprehensible than my attempts at karaoke and, as mentioned above, decidedly screamy. I like the way it sounds as though everyone in the band is joining in with them, though. It's nice to see they've got each other's back.

Now we have the bit where I think I'm supposed to compare them to some other musician, possibly crossed with someone else entirely. I think this is where I fall down a bit, as I don't really have music knowledge that anyone else is interested in, so I'll settle for saying that they sound a bit like some very drunk men stuck in a well with an angry drum kit, but in a good way. 

That's it, so read this probably much better informed review here http://hangout.altsounds.com/reviews/105187-pulled-apart-by-horses-i-punched-a-lion-in-the-throat-single.html 
and go and listen to some more crazy northern shouting. I know I will be.